Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is meant to help children understand their parents, not blame them for their problems. That is Gibson’s premise. Some of the emotional problems adults face often stem whether their parents created a safe environment to process emotions. If the parents were emotionally unavailable, the child will have problems trust others, form meaningful relationships, and inability to ask for help.

Gibson has several self-assessment exercises in this process of self-reflection and knowledge. Some people are internalizers- people who take on all their problems, and externalizers – people cause problems so people will focus on them.

Perhaps one of the best truths that Gibson explores is the healing fantasy: “If only my parents would do X, then I would be happy.” Those are just fantasies; many parents will not change because they often don’t realize what they were doing. Many parents remain emotionally immature well into their 70s and 80s and insist their children cater to their whims.

This book is best read with a counselor/therapist to explore what you discover about yourself.

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